true love

百年修得共枕眠

True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

So true. Thank you wittybb for sharing the article.

Sunday

It was surprisingly warm this morning and the rain stopped this morning, even the sun had its brief moment. The Jingle Bell run started at 9 am. Took me 28 minutes and 4 seconds to finish the 5-km run. My goal was to finish under 30 minutes. I am glad that I did a little better than that even and 9-min mile... I am happy.

Did a little shopping at Orland Park this afternoon. Got a long-sleeve undershirt and a sweater... Oh... and a leather jacket. The leather jacket was 50% off and plus another 15%... so it only cost $70 or so. It's made out of pig leather... hmm.... environmentally friendly? but it looks nice.

Also went to Omaha Steaks coz I got the Discovercard cashback $30 certificate. So I bought the filet mignon. Way overpriced. But I got the store coupon... plus the certificate... only $20 for 4 6-oz pieces. Not too bad I guess. So tonight I had the filet mignon + scallop (huge ones got from costco) + broccoli + red wine (Charles Shaw). A very good meal indeed.

I am feeling better today. There are moments that I still think too much... and get depressed. But I am better now.

night

gotta sleep early and wake up early tomorrow morning for the 5K run. hope I can finish it. and hope that it won't be raining during the race.

strong wind

tonight, as the wind is blowing hard, the remaining leaves that were hanging on finally succumb to the crushing force of winter. so do I... falling into the deepest of the abyss.

winter and spring

Winter is here, but withered leaves still hang onto the tree limbs. Even the first snow has fallen. Why? Why do you linger? Time does not stop and pity your holding on. A few more frosty nights and a strong breeze... your strength will be depleted and your grip loosens. Time, it is just a matter of time before the last leaf is fallen. And winter will declare its final victory.

I wish winter will be over soon, though it has just begun.

Perhaps, hope lies in the coming of Spring. New leaves will grow once again and flowers will bloom once again. But memory from the past year has not lost. It has permanently marked it presence in the form of tree rings. Tree rings are hidden but forever recording the passage of time.

blood drive

Donated my first pint of blood today at church. The Red Cross came for a blood drive. I helped with unloading and loading. Parents helped escorting donors (on wheelchair if needed) after they were done giving blood.

I felt ok throughout the whole thing. But my bleed time was barely satisfactory... just a few seconds shy of 15 mins and 2 seconds which is the cut-off. I guess the nurse loosened the arm band just a tad too much. Otherwise, it would have been quicker. I was a little tired afterwards. But felt great otherwise.

I think everyone should give blood if they can. Only takes a little time. But many can be saved.

thanksgiving dinner

Had a wonderful thanksgiving dinner at the Barrone's. They were so nice to have us over. The food was great. We played a bit of poker afterwards. That was fun. Will post some pictures soon.

Dad tried his best to talk to Choppy (grandpa). Though he said later that he only picked up a few words and was guessing what Choppy was saying most of the time.

Mom said that it was too bad that she couldn't speak English. Otherwise she could have communicate better and more easily with ppl. She even said that if she were able to speak then she could live with dad near me in a separate house, not necessarily in the same house under the same roof. I can see that mom is trying very hard to change herself... I appreciate what she had said.

Thank you

I am thankful to you all, my friends, for your kind words and encouragements.
I am thankful to my cloud 9 who made my year memorable and still be a friend at the end.
I am thankful to my boss for his friendship and for his giving me a raise... more motivation to work hard.
I am thankful to my parents for their unfailing love.
I am thankful to my sister who is always my little sister.

God, thank You! Thank you for making everything possible.

Couple of songs

Thank you CPMF14 for the following songs.

KISS ME GOODBYE (Watch MV Here)

曲︰LEO REED／BARRY MASON
詞︰潘源良
編︰劉以達

像流星　閃出愛情　一刻也長記於心
但浮生　飄忽似雲　分開了難再走近

＊SO KISS ME GOODBYE　有緣沒有份
都珍貴有過一刻跟你共行
只想一生　都記往你的吻
他鄉裡　作我心窩裡孤燈

＃KISS ME GOODBYE　愛是從來沒缺陷
不可以共對一生　心也是真
留往這刻　盡情來熱吻　忘記淚痕
KISS ME GOODBYE

任時光　沖擊愛情　洗出我和你的心
願明天　一身客塵　彼此也能再走近

重唱　＊,＃


世界會變得很美 (Watch MV Here)

曲︰HIDEKI ANDOH
詞︰向雪懷
編︰CARL WONG

期待中我　煩悶枯橾
流浪街中的好一段日子
從未相信命運就是天意
只知道自我世界有苦惱

＊前面的世界誰人又知道
平坦的不一定是好
有些失意並未公報
想將我悶與痛快向你傾訴

＃聽說外面浮華如樂土
走出這世界會有千個夢兒
痛恨從前為何無從目睹
聽說這世界再次變得很美

＋忘記了今天失戀寄望在明天
心中更自傲　憑我的感覺找到
朋友都踏著命運腳步抗拒風雨
找到愛慕　在每一天我要不斷進步
你會某天叫好

重唱　＊,＃,＋,＋

The missing piece

Just as I thought I'd found my missing piece, the missing piece just slipped out of my hand. But no... I probably never had it in the first place. It is sad. But it is probably true. Everything seemed like a dream to me. Or I am still in this dream, never want to be awakened.

Wake up! You moron! Wake up and face the reality. As you have said long ago...Reality is cruel sometimes... but at least if you face it now, some good will eventually come in the long run.

I am not bitter. I am just sad. Extremely sad. For what I had treasured so preciously is now gone, forever. Time is my biggest ally but also my biggest enemy.

weekend b4 thanksgiving

Laziness has caught up with me at work. So time to make up for it. I worked for several hours this afternoon and will go back to the office and work some more tonight. Hope I can get all the stuff done b4 thanksgiving.

I think I have found the missing piece. The feeling that I had could not have been mistaken. I truly hope that I am correct. I am cautiously optimistic.

weekend

weekend was great. good friends from indy paid us a visit. we went dim sum at chinatown yesterday for lunch. then headed to macy's on state street and was going to check out the christmas window display. but we walked inside macy's from the 8th floor down to the first and forgot to walk outside and around the building to see the window display. kinda stupid. we got a LOT of food from chinatown and the korean grocery store for hotpot last night (and tonight we were still eating leftover hotpot ... reprise... i guess). went to church this morning... potluck for lunch at church. mom made curry chicken and the molten-core chocolate cupcakes. curry chicken was gone in a hurry and i couldn't even get a second. ppl were raving about the chocolate cupcakes as well. friends left around 5. a great weekend. parents had fun. and me too. but i missed my cloud 9. wish she was here. it would then have been even a more perfect weekend.

chatting with parents tonight. asked my dad whether he had a gf b4 meeting my mom. he said he was interested in a classmate when he went to school. but since his best friend also expressed interest in her and he just wished his friend best luck. and he said that his best friend eventually married the girl. i was also reminded that dad did not attend to primary school. he was too poor to go to school. later on when he owned a tailor shop with my then soon-to-be uncle, he could finally go to a vocational school. for that he went for 3 years or so. i asked him how he learned to read and write. he read comics, books and newspapers and just picked up the words. my dad's story reminds me how privilege a life i had in my childhood and also i have now.

my mom recounted stories of me and my sister's. i didn't walk till i was one and a half and i didn't speak a complete sentence till i was two and a half. mom asked the doctor if i was dumb. and the doc said i was as smart as james bond (my chinese name "pong"). mom said i was good at recognizing ppl and places, but would only say "ee-ee ar-ar" and a few single words before i was two years old. on the contrary, my sister could walk in ten months and could speak soon after. when i went to kindergarten, i would read my books to my sister and she could recite the entire book perfectly afterward. i played with my toys with intense interest and concentration, unlike my sister who only played if i played with her. my sister was addicted to her thumb. she would suck her thumb while grabbing onto her precious little towel. she had a hard time quitting her thumb-sucking habitat... in my memory... i still recall my sister doing her thumb even she was in primary school. i thought it was cute though at the time and didn't understand why mom always force her to quite. mom would put "maan kum" oil on her thumb but it wouldn't work for long. i don't remember when my sister finally kick that habit for good. my mom commented that her thumb was like opium to her. i couldn't help laughing. mom said i had a hard time weaning from my baby bottle no until my sister was born and i would have been three years old then. but my sister had no difficulties at all. in fact, my mom asked my sister to quit using the bottle and she picked up the bottle and dropped it in the trash basket. that was sooo funny but incredible.

stories that i have heard more a dozen times from my parents already, but each time they tell them, i learn a little more, feel a little more, and they imprint in my head a little more.

destiny

Destiny is not predetermined, I believe. God created us; He defined us... All the secrets lie in the DNA of our cells. But our DNA is only part of the story. Just as what we eat and what we are exposed to can turn on and off our genes. We have free will and we make choices in life that affect our destiny. God has instructed us to how to live our life but he did not preset our destiny. The path is set by every decision that we make in life.

JibJab

Week in Review

Friday's exam was a test of endurance as much as technical knowledge. I sat through the 8-hour exam. Believe me... my butt was never detached from the chair in each of the 4-hour sessions. Didn't even go the bathroom for 4 hours at a time. My back hurt badly at the end of the day. I think I did ok. At least I finished all the problems. We'll see in ... 3 months?

This week had been a heck of a week. Exam and all. I am happy and content by the end of the week. So a good thing.

Went to The Morton Arboretum to see the foliage. Very nice park. I will go back definitely... probably in winter and spring.

The Morton Arboretum

Chocolate Cupcakes

Chocolate Cupcakes

mom and chocolate cupcake

Finally tonight, I was able to dispute the myth or blame that my mom had been spreading since who knows when. The blame goes like this:

The reason that my mom has such a loud voice, according to her, was that she had to yell at me when I was little or she has been yelling at me since I was little... and as a result, her voice was made louder because of all the yelling and the root cause was that I was naughty and disobedient.

Hmmm... I don't know why I had been taking her blame for years without properly refuting her erroneous claim. And I don't know why it took me so long to figure out a way to refute her claim. But finally, I thought of something to say tonight at dinner when my mom made that statement again.

I said to my mom, "The reason your voice was getting louder and louder was not because of me, but because you've been losing your hearing!" Hahaha... finally.

Well... I wouldn't be able to say that years before because my mom, at that time, had not come to term with the fact that her hearing was bad and it was never going to get better. For years, she refused to go see the doctor and have her hearing checked. But a few year ago, she decided on her own to see the doc and got a hearing aid. Although the hearing aid doesn't help a whole lot. But she finally was able to accept that fact that she was probably born with weak hearing and her hearing ability got worse as she ages.

I have seen quite a few changes in Mom in recent years. She has gotten happier despite occasional emotional breakdown. But she's been trying very hard to deal with her emotion and trying very hard to accept the reality of things that sometimes she has difficulty taking in. And she is a good mom, very good mom regardless of how she would sometimes drive me nuts.

And tonight, she made this chocolate cupcake. Amazing... You know... I don't usually like chocolate cake that much. But this one... it's got melted chocolate inside with crusty top. Never had a cupcake this good. Oh... I asked how she put the melted chocolate inside... she said it just baked out like that. Unbelievable.

cool and windy

I finally got a chance to do some exercise this evening. I went running for a couple of miles. The weather was cool and windy, so I didn't break much sweat. It's getting dark earlier now. By the time I got back, it was quite dark and the cloud cover didn't help either.

Didn't accomplish much at work this week. Couldn't really focus... partly because of the upcoming exam and partly because of the lack of motivation. And there is this uncertain and at a loss kinda feeling all week. Well, hope everything will be better by the end of the month. I will be a happier man once the clouds are dispersed and sunshine is returned for better or worse.

Sunrise

I guess I do like sunrise too. Just I don't get up as early as I used to and just not able to appreciate the beauty of it. Sunrise does give you hope.

~~~~

Time flies,
or does it?
Not at this moment,
I believe.
The second ticks by
but slowly and slowly it goes.
Until time stops.
Everything stands still.

Wait, no...
It is not time that stops.
It is me, who is stuck
in the quicksand.
As I struggle,
I sink quickly.
I am wishing that time would stop
for a moment.

Yet, no...
I don't want to be stuck
forever.
What can I do
to escape the inescapable?
Or should I just be still,
very still,
waiting for the judgment of time?

A little prayer

My goddaughter is doing well so far and so are her parents. Thank you Lord for watching over them. May you continue to bless them and provide for them each step of the way.

~~~~

Just got a picture of Agnes. She is so cute! I am very proud to be her godfather.

Sunset

As I was driving home this evening (from a singout), the golden sun was setting behind the western sky. From blue to yellow to gold, the colors were further enhanced by the clouds that looked like cotton balls scattered all over the edge of the sky. By the way the sun has been hiding for almost two days.

I wonder why it is always the sunset that is the most beautiful. Though it signifies the end of the day, it is the prettiest moment of the entire day, even more so than the sunrise. No wonder we always want or hope for a good ending, an ending that is perhaps as pretty, if not prettier, than the evening sunset. I don't want an end, but if the end does come, I wish it would be a pleasant one, one that I will forever treasure and remember.

static electricity

Dad said he was almost electrocuted when he tried to turn on the lights just now. He said it was fortunate that he was wearing plastic slippers.

Turned out he was shocked by static coz he was wearing plastic slippers.

特首講文革

This is an absolutely horrid comment from our 特首 on democracy. Cultural revolution is an extreme example of democracy??? Unbelievable...

特首講文革原文

god-daugther

Ces and Robin gave birth to little Agnes last night. And I have the honor to be Agnes' god-father. I am overjoyed. Ces' pregnancy has been a bit of a bumpy road. But God is good and He certainly has blessed them every step of the way. Thank you Lord.

tired

one feels the loneliest when he is tired and exhausted.

Time for a post

Well... it's been a while since last post. Sorry for the rather long absence. Just busy studying... and perhaps playing too much with facebook. So... my pe exam will be in less than 3 weeks. I'll study my butt off. Wish me luck.

squirrels

I was out running this morning and the squirrels were everywhere. They were usually in pairs too. One chasing another. As acorns drop, the squirrels are preparing for winter by collecting them and hiding them. I always marvel at their ability to remember where they hide their acorns.

草蜢 失樂園

Haven't been listening to this song (草蜢 失樂園) a lot lately.

To give and forgive

We lie. It is a human nature to lie. We lie to cover up things. We lie more to cover up lies. Being in a relationship is more than being physically together, but also the union of the mind and soul. Lies and dishonesty stand between this union, as if they are knives, ready to rip this union apart and shed it to pieces. A relationship is fragile--it doesn't take much to ruin it. All it takes is a small lie.

To rebuild a relationship takes probably ten times more effort than to ruin it.

The lie, however, is not the root of the problem. Most of the time, a lie is used to disguise one's intention and motive. The ill intention or motive is the real problem. And if that underlying problem is not resolved, the relationship will go sour eventually. In trying to resolve the problem, there is no equality--one side has to take the initiative and do more than the other. In fact, the one who's being lied to is often the one who has do more and also take the initiative, because that means forgiveness from the side who is hurt and relationship can only be rebuilt based on this forgiveness.

All things happen for a reason. A trial can only make a relationship grow and get stronger if both sides are willing to give and forgive.

trust

Trust is paramount in any relationship, especially so in a love relationship.

When I was once young and reckless (ok, I am not so young anymore but maybe still reckless sometimes), I had put this paramount trust in jeopardy a few times, and I learned my lessons.

All it takes is a little misstep. No matter how small that misstep is, once the boundary is crossed, the trust between two individuals is breached.

Have a forgiving heart. Give the one next you a chance to make it right.

Shark Fin Gwa Update

Well the "gwa" plant's flower finally opened up yesterday morning. Big showy flower. And I looked up on the internet and learned that this plant belongs to the gourd family (Cucurbitacea) under the same family with cucumber and squash. They have male and female flowers. So... the flower in the picture above is female. Only the female blossom can turn into fruit. Ha... one thing odd is that none of the male flowers were in bloom yet. Anyway... the flower only opened up for one morning. In the afternoon it was closed off. This morning it's still closed. I guess the flower only last for one day? oh well.

cuckoo clock

Spent all day up in Frankfort, IL. There's this fall festival... with over 300 arts and craft booths. Passed by this German cuckoo clock booth. Mom was really excited. So we ended up getting this small "1-day" cuckoo clock for $200. Hand-crafted, all mechanical. Got 2 quarrels on two sides of the clock and a peacock up top. Then of course the cuckoo, which comes out every half hour. I know it is expensive. But as jasper said the following...

cuckoo clock, hand crafted, made in Germany - $200
for something mom wants - priceless

Indeed, priceless. Ha.. the cuckoo just did "cuckoo" 9 times. Nine o'clock!

After the festival (and parade), we went for a party hosted by the other barbershop chapter. Lots of food and beer. We had this quartet contest, and I was in 3 quartets. I (with two of the quartets) ended up winning the both first and second place! There were a total of 13 or 14 quartets. Got a can of peanuts for the prize. Nice to be out in the sun all day. The weather was just absolutely beautiful!

shark fin gwa

Mom has been growing this "shark fin gwa" in a bucket outside my apartment. Even with only 4-5 inch of soil, the plant has been growing pretty well and even have flower buds all over. My mom has been wishing the flowers to bloom and eventually have "gwa" to eat. But the flower buds just get bigger and bigger and haven't opened up yet. A couple of flower buds, instead of opening up, at the base of it... have started to swell up, looking like a "gwa." But I kept telling my mom that it is not possible to have "gwa" without the flower in bloom first. And my mom kept saying, it has skipped flowering and gone right to the "gwa-ing" stage. So this morning, I used an analogy to explain that a woman won't get pregnant without having sex, which is why you don't have gwa without the flower. Then she replied, "of course you can! Mary was like that!" I was like... arrrgh...

Anyway, my allergy has been pretty bad this week. I think it's a combination of cold and allergy.

I really need to study for the PE exam which will be on Oct 26. I'll be taking a review class up in Schaumburg starting Sept 10. There are a lot of topics I don't know and not familiar with, like structural and transportation. I am a little worried now. I don't have all the reference books I need yet... you know, those codes and stuff. Anyway, I'll try my best and see what happen.

On poverty

Come across this article on Washington Post.
On Poverty, Maybe We're All Wrong

Interesting idea. I'll post some graphs later to look at this idea further.

weekend

Took Friday afternoon off to go get a set of new tires for my subaru forester. Cost me an arm and a leg. But now the car runs as smoothly as ever. And no more squeaks turning tight corners. These new tires have 60k tread warranty. Nice...

A walk along the lake shore was nice... Saturday night turns out to be perfect, weather-wise. Much cooler, sharp contrast with the steamy and raining days for the past 2 weeks. The sad thing is... a night like that won't happen again for at least a month, or maybe more...

experience with words

Have you ever had the experience that when you write down a word, all of a sudden that word seems so foreign to you and you are not sure you have spelled it correctly? Even after you've looked up the word in the dictionary, you still puzzle with the spelling. Happened to me tonight with the word "thorough." Weird, isn't it. I do the same thing with Chinese words too. Strange.

Start of the week

Kinda under the weather for the past couple days. Got a cold I think. Just not wanting to go to work. Maybe I am more work sick than sick sick. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

My boss just refused to take Pedro home. Well... I guess he doesn't want to take care of it, though his daughter has requested him to bring Pedro home. Oh well... I guess I better start raising some crickets too...

I got three pairs of shoes from Kohl's Sunday. All on clearance. Only for $50 total. Not bad huh! Should have gotten my running shoes from there too.

Egg tart

Mom made "snow dove cake" egg tarts. I have never heard of such a thing. Must be a first! But as usual they taste really good.

tunnel

Come to think about it, we are in a dark tunnel most of the time. Fortunately we have friends and family who hold our hands and guide us, or sometimes a flashlight or two may be available so that we don't get lost. It'll be nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But even we don't see it now, it doesn't mean that it's not there. We just have to keep walking. Be patient and trust your friends and family who've been there. And always have faith.

Chicago Botanic Garden

Uploaded pictures I took at Chicago Botanic Garden couple weekends ago. Enjoy.

Chicago Botanic Garden

trout

Mom made steamed rainbow trout tonight. She asked why I didn't go for the eyes. I asked why. Then she said when I was little, I would always poke at the fish eye. She would ask me why and I would say, "To eat lor! It's so good!" Then I would put the eye in my mouth and spit out the eyeball. I really don't recall that I like fish eye.

young chicken

Mom: This chicken doesn't expire till september!
Dad: It's a young chicken (as read from the label).
Mom: ?!?!?!
Mom: So an old chicken will expire sooner then?!
Dad: ......

Mom: Go chop up the chicken meat.
Dad: (chopping)
Dad: Done!
Mom: What?! I asked you to chop not mesh the chicken!
Dad: I didn't mesh it. Just that it is a young chicken.
Mom: ......

Just stuff

Went to Mokena this morning and played 18 holes of frisbee golf. This was the first time I ever really played a real course this year. I was never really good at frisbee golf. But I just love seeing the trajectory of the disc as it flies through the air. It is always a beauty when you throw it just right. I was surprised how much progress my dad has made from a year ago, even my mom was throwing pretty well (at least she can keep the disc level and get about 60 to 70 feet in distance).

Then we headed to Costco in Orland Park to get grocery and stuff. We had lunch there. Ha... yup... $1.50 polish sausage + pop. My mom had a slice pizza which she thought it was pretty bad. Oh well the lunch was cheap, though.

Got back home b4 2:30 and I went to church to help out with blood pressure and blood sugar testings. I was in charge of doing the blood sugar. First time ever to use the machine and to draw blood from ppl. I did 6 people altogether. Will do that again tomorrow morning.

And I made dinner tonight.. well sort of. I cooked 2 steaks. My dad cooked the vegetables. Dad was complaining that the steak was too raw and he ruined it totally by "dinging" it in the microwave! What a shame to a good piece of steak. And he kept saying how good it was after it was nuked in the microwave.

On a side note, I still have Pedro the tree frog. My boss hasn't taken it home yet. He jokingly asked me that if I wanted to keep him as a pet in the office... hmmmmm

Pedro and Rib-Eye Roast

Pedro is doing great. I cleaned his tank over the weekend, replaced the bedding and put in some moss and got him a dozen more crickets. He's a big eater. Last weekend I got him a dozen and he finished them all in less than 5 days. I took some pictures but he was always hiding. I'll try to poke him out of the moss tomorrow morning and get a nice picture of him. Boss comes back tomorrow.

I made rib-eye roast tonight. A little too well done for my taste but my dad loved it. He doesn't like raw meat. Next time I'll cook it to just 130­F instead of 140F. I brushed on some Dijon mustard... and sprinkled on some pepper, rosemary, and thyme... and salt and garlic powder of course... Only took about 1.5 hours. I also made a red wine sauce for it. Turned out pretty nice.

Pedro

iPhone

I got an iPhone today. Finally I buckled under peer pressure... well actually more of my own desire and couldn't resist the temptation to own a phone that I had been longing for for so long. Anyway...

iPhone is cool. The ONE concern I had was with the reported low call volume. BUT, I don't think that's the case. Well.. it isn't very loud even I turn the volume all the way up. But I don't have any trouble hearing at all. The headset that comes with phone works well too. The speaker is very limited however and is not very loud. So the speaker phone function is kinda useless if the background noise is loud.

Otherwise... everything works as advertised. Typing is actually not too bad. The software does a very good job of correcting errors. The browser works well... except for some websites. Navigation and interface are just short of amazing.

I got the phone working in less in 5 minutes. Got my gmail set up in less than 1/2 min. I am very happy with the phone so far.

Dad's apology

My parents hadn't been speaking to each other for 4 days. Finally my dad redeemed himself today with a letter to mom. At the end of that letter... his sign-off. Hahahaha!!!!!!!

Do we know?

Do we truly know what we want?
I doubt that is ever true.
Yes, maybe, for an instance,
we know what we want for a moment
and we get what we want;
but the next moment,
we want something else or
what we have wanted is not enough any more
and we want something greater and better.

Pedro the frog

I have a frog in my office now. My boss is gone for vacation... fishing in Canada with his entire family and relatives. And I have to take care of his daughter's tree frog--Pedro. I got a dozen of crickets from Petco yesterday and dumped all of them in the little aquarium where Pedro lives. Pedro only comes out in the evening and at night. During the day he just hides under the moss. I'll take some pictures of him later. He'll be with me till next Monday.

On relationships (2)

Continuing from a previous post...

Then in the secondary school, which I thought I could start over, making new friends... But I seemed to run into similar problems. I found that I didn't fit into any of the "groups" in school. One of the problems was that I didn't get to hang out with them. My family was poor -- I didn't have the means to go out with them. I had a couple of really good guy friends though whom I regret that I didn't really keep in touch with them. But if I look for them now, we'll be still be good friends. Anyway, other than those 2 friends... the rest of the classmates didn't really like me all that much. But as I remember right, it was ok. Life was good, most of the time. Then after the HKCEE exam, I left Hong Kong for a student exchange program. And I came to the States.

To be continued...

Running

I never liked running. I remembered back in the college days... ooh.. the number of times I did any serious running can be counted with one hand. But I have been running pretty regularly in recent weeks. Hurt my foot when I started about a month ago coz I didn't have proper shoes. Now that I bought a pair of Nike... I run about every other days for about 2.5 miles each time. I run about very slow... a little more than 10 min/mile. I think I have gotten better now. My breathing is better now, except my legs still get tired towards the end. My goal is run a half marathon, oh, maybe next year... just maybe.

I start to like running... coz it gives me some quiet time that I can think and meditate. I realize that you don't have to sit still to meditate, you can run while you meditate... hah... I never sit still and therefore could never really do any meditation. But I found that running gets you into this trance state that you can actually forget that your legs are hurting and your lungs are running of the air. Anyway running really helps me to clear my thoughts and get me focus on my priorities again.

Blueberry Picking

Took a day off yesterday and took my parents blueberry picking. We got 7+ lbs of blueberries. I have been munching on them since yesterday at the field. Mom made blueberry muffins. Yum!

Blueberry Picking 2007

On relationship with others

I was never a person who was well like by others. Even when I was in primary school, I knew some of the classmates really didn't like me. Part of it was probably because I always did well in exams... and ppl thought that I was a smart-ass... always wanted to show off. I was probably a smart-ass then, and probably still is. But I never intended to be one and I certainly don't want to be one. The consolation was that in primary 6, a group of girls accepted me into their circle. I know... sounds weird... for a guy to be with a group of girls... yeah I was attracted to one of them but that was another story... nothing really happened. The friendship with those girls were genuine, however. They told me that they thought I was arrogant, but then once they got to know me... they told me that I was actually quite nice to them. Yup... that was my consolation of being rejected by some of my peers at that time. And I knew I was arrogant at times... and I tried really hard to be humble and meek and be really nice to ppl I know. Whether it worked or not I wouldn't know.

To be continued...

Parents

The weather is so nice today. Dry and breezy. This is the kind of summer weather I like. Too bad that I had to stay in the office all day.

There are advantages to my parents being here. Dinner's always ready when I am hungry. My dad is doing most of the cleaning. Haha.. yeah he does. And it's quite entertaining sometimes listening to mom yapping at dad, "counting" his wrongdoings. My dad is getting really forgetful these days---leaving keys stuck on the door knob, forgetting dishes in the microwave. And he is too lazy to remember things too.. that's part of the problem. Funny and sometimes annoying and also sad to see that my dad is developing some old man's habits---slurping soup, making unnecessary noises while eating and even while sitting idle, being really stubborn and not listening to others.... Oh well... it is more sad to see my parents grow older. I have to take good care of them, making their lives as joyful and carefree as possible. So far, I don't think I am going too good a job.

green monochrome

On the way home, I saw fireworks all over the place. But it couldn't beat the display of the fireflies. They dotted the fields with dancing green dots---nature's monochrome fireworks---reminding me of those old greenish monochrome computer monitors. hahaha

July 4

I will pick up my parents from the airport this evening. Tonight my 6-month prison term begins. Oh... ha... just kidding. I love my parents. I guess it is a good thing for them... and for me as well that they are here half of the year. Things are a little different this year. We'll see how it goes.

Serious Addiction

I think I am addicted, addicted to my cloud 9. Hahaha.

Rainbow

 

A morning sprinkle... emerges a rainbow. I have never seen a rainbow so low near the horizon.

To my dear friend

You know... we do make an amazing number of decisions in our surprising short life. Granted, some of the decisions we have made or will be making are definitely right or definitely wrong. However, a majority of the decisions is in this gray area where there is no absolute right and wrong. Maybe time will tell. But I do believe that we can always learn something from the decisions that we've made. It is this learning experience that helps shape our character, our value, and our future. Without this experience, we might as well be living in a green house where we'd be sheltered from all the elements. We grow as we learn as we experience. The most important thing is to move forward in life, taking one step at a time. Only look back when you need to learn from your previous mistakes and to draw motivation, but never dwell in the past. What happened in the past, stay in the past.

We create our own cloud nine!

Milk Tea

All of a sudden, I want to drink Milk Tea, the Hong Kong kind, you know?

Friendship Festival

There is this carnival in town near my townhouse this weekend. After sunset, I took my camera and walked over there to check it out. I was going to take some pictures but I couldn't find my tripod... yeah an excuse, really... I was too conscientious. Just too many people there. I feel embarrassed to take any pictures.

As I walked amongst the rides, game booths, and food stands, I wonder what people are attracted to in small carnivals like this one. I understand kids are excited just about every ride and game... but what about adults other than kids' parents? I do admire this simple way of life. We can and should find contentment in small things, even in a small carnival in a small town. There are many great and grand things in this world. But everything has its place, I believe.

Road of Life

To know,
to understand,
to explore,
to experience.
The road of life
is tortuous and
cannot be without pain,
yet we continue on
to achieve our greater purpose.

Jasper's Visit

Finally get to meet Jasper in person yesterday. Picked her up at the airport and had dinner with her and friends in Magianno's. Will take her sightseeing in Chicago today. Got tickets for the architecture boat tour in the evening. Today will be very hot... Jasper is going to complain about the weather all day... I guarantee.

Surreal II

Morning mist surrounds me
I can hardly make out the
silhouette of things laid in front of me
But there she is
I can smell the fragrance of her hair
I can feel her presence
I know her
yet I don't
She is so close
yet so far
Never have I had such a multitude of feelings
I am lost in the continuum of space?

Surreal I

I know what I've been feeling and
what I've been experiencing
and yet things have been so
seemingly unbelievable
or at least to me
that they are beyond my imagination
as if it has been a dream
a surreal kind of dream.

daisy

As I was leaving for rehearsal/party last night, Daisy shouted at a distance and said "I need a hug!" Then she ran to me... I lifted her up and gave her a hug and swung her around.

Daisy and Douglas are living with their grandparents and they don't get to see their father very often. Maybe once every 2 weeks or so. It must be tough for the kids not having a father around.

I am on cloud 9.

Do We Really Care?

Do We Really Care? -- Faye Wong

Joey Tang/Alvin Leong

I saw pictures of a small girl
Crying, livin in the lost world
The men fight for dear god, she don't care
Cuz there's nothin left to share

I watched TV about a sick girl
She was only nine
She'll be gone soon
When and where she's going god will know
She doesnt want the sun to go

Don't you know that we care?
Keep the faith hope is here
Deep in my heart i ask myself
Do we really, really care?

Read the paper of a colored boy
He was starving so were the lone vultures
Why so full of sorrow no tomorrow
No rainbow will he ever know

Don't you know that we care? (don't ya know that we care)
Keep the faith hope is here (hope is here)
Deep in my heart i ask myself
Do we really, really care?

Don't you know that we pray (we pray)
For you to see the light of day (the light of day)
For you to bring back the look of love
Words of wisdom is not enough

The unattainable

Lost in the reverie
of the unattainable
men move forward
toiling each step
dragging their feet
not knowing the future
yet stubbornly so
they move forward.

How ironic that men hold
dearly onto things
and people that are
no longer relevant to them.

Hide-and-seek

Daisy was playing hide and seek when I got home. She was hiding in my garage!

so darn happy

A girl, a girl, a girl....
ha ha ha ha
yeah yeah yeah

再別康橋----徐志摩

輕輕的我走了　正如我輕輕的來　
我輕輕的招手　作別西天的雲彩
那河畔的金柳　是夕陽中的新娘
波光裏的豔影　在我心頭蕩漾
軟泥上的青荇　油油的在水底招搖

在康河的柔波裏　我甘心作一條水草
那榆蔭下的一潭　不是清泉是天上的虹
揉碎在浮藻間　　沉澱彩虹似的夢

尋夢　撐支長篙　向青草更青處漫溯　
滿載一船星輝　在星輝斑爛裡放歌
但我不能放歌　悄悄是別離的笙簫
夏蟲也為我沉默　沉默是今晚的康橋

悄悄的我走了　　正如我悄悄的來　
我揮一揮衣袖　　不帶走一片雲彩

Let's translate this. I think jasper222 and I have taken a crack at it in an earlier post.

Oh you know?

Oh you know?
How hard it is
to resist the urge of
  picking up the phone and
  dialing your number;
to refrain from the temptation of
  clicking the compose button and
  writing you a message;
to restrain my restless brain from
  thinking of you and
  dreaming about you.
And you know, the hardest thing of all?
Not knowing whether all my efforts
  will end up in vain.

the conflicted

The pain as it turns out
is more than I'd like to bear.
I tell myself to let go.
Others have told me so as well.
But the stubborn side of me
refuses to budge.
Knowing is worse than not knowing--
at least it is so in this case.
And the worst thing is...
knowing is simply not knowing.
Life is full of contradictions.

Friends

I was just thinking this morning. I am fortunate to have a few very good friends. Only a few. But it's quality not quantity that counts. Just just a few words of encouragement, or a sentence or two of "low b" from them would cheer me up. Genuine care and love for each other. What more can I ask for?

Tulips

Tulips, tulips!
Why had you withered so early?
Was it the weather?
Or was it because you were foretelling my destiny?
I could only imagine you were once beautiful.
I could only imagine your flowers once spread every corner of the fields.

But I did experience that, didn't I?
Was my mind playing tricks on me?
What seemed real turned out to be just fabric of my imagination?

The icy cold Lake Michigan water did not wake me from my sweet dream.
May the dream continue...
But NO...
It wasn't a dream.
The sand dunes, the pine and cottonwood trees, even the icy cold water could testify
that I wasn't dreaming and that what I experienced was real.

What could I make out of all these?
An invisible wall had barricaded the way forward.
But I could not turn back either
for the tide was high and the water was cold.

I climbed to the top of the dune,
overlooking the far horizon
where water meets the sky.
Sun was setting.
Time did not wait on me, ticking away mercilessly...
I wished I could see farther ahead.
Yet where the sun rested was the limit of my vision.

[to be continued!?]

cold water

When a cistern of cold water tips over
and drenches you from head to toe
and you still can't accept the reality that you are wet,
......

Sand Dunes and Lake Michigan

Where the sand dunes lay,
A fool stood at the top of a mound.
Surrounded by golden waves of moving sand,
He stood still;
He never wavered;
He waited and waited.
Last time I looked,
He was still there!
Or not?
Or it was just a sculpted sand statue,
Alone,
By itself...
Withstanding the uncertain Lake Michigan wind;
Braving the pounding of Lake Michigan rain.

Picture in the newspaper

Ha... Had a sing-out Tuesday at a Senior Fair. Got a picture of me in the newspaper!

The Daily Journal

A very good idea indeed

君が好きだとさけびたい

Untitled

When the stars weep
and the moon mourns
clouds gather to collect their grief
Rain falls as teardrops
sadly yet softly upon your fields
It is when sadness of the night passes
and clouds disperse
Sunshine yet once again emerges
and warms upon your face
A new day of hope has begun

A plan to stay focus

I think what I need to do is stop thinking and keep myself busy with work.
The more time I sit idle, the more opportunities my brain has for wondering aimlessly.
Timing is a tricky thing.
I suck at it.
Big time.

Perfecto/Imperfecto

No body is perfect.
It is imperfection that defines one's life.

Sculpture

Anyone care to guess what this is?



BTW, I have no idea.

Pictures from weekend

Went to Garfield Conservatory in Chicago Saturday. A big greenhouse. Spring flower show.

Garfield Conservatory

Should have been working today. But I ended up taking a walk in Perry Farm. Snapped a few pictures.

Perry Farm--Spring 2007

A hug from Daisy.

I opened my garage door this afternoon and there she is... Daisy standing right there with her bike by her side. She asked... are you going to work? I was going to take a walk at Perry Farm (will post pictures later) and then come to work. So I said... yeah. She stretched out both of her arms, asking for a hug! Oh...... My heart just melted right there.

joy

You know what makes me truly happy after I get home from work every evening?

Seeing the kids playing outside... and Douglas would come up to me and say... Can you fix my scooter? ... and Daisy would ask.... Can you play race with me?

stressed-out

I am so burnt out at work. Really need some time to relax and recharge.

長滿在湖邊的花

I ended up singing karaoke tonight on my computer--Jacky Live Performance 2005. I think it's kinda pathetic. I finished the 2 vcds... didn't sing every song coz I don't know some of them. But I was actually enjoying myself, believe it or not. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep better tonight. The closing song is:

愛 是 永 恆 　 傳 說 中 代 表 愛 情 的 花 , 終 於 長 滿 在 湖 邊

曲 : Dick Lee 　 詞 : 林 振 強 　 編 : Iskanda Ismail

有 始 不 有 終 　 能 受 百 樣 痛 　 從 沒 有 合 約 合 同 　 但 卻 跨 時 空
這 滔 滔 不 息 的 愛 　 我 贈 給 你 用 　 這 一 生 　 和 下 世 　 有 幾 多 　 全 奉 送
閉 起 的 眼 中 　 無 論 重 又 重 　 仍 是 見 著 你 面 容 　 在 我 心 湖 中
這 份 愛 　 永 遠 都 存 在 　 共 你 同 在 　 無 盡 永 恆 中
有 著 我 　 便 有 著 你 　 真 愛 是 永 不 死 　 穿 過 喜 和 悲 　 跨 過 生 和 死
有 著 我 　 便 有 著 你 　 千 個 萬 個 世 紀 　 ( 天 老 地 老 也 好 ) 　 絕 未 離 棄 　 愛 是 永 恆 當 所 愛 是 你
兩 手 雖 似 空 　 其 實 抱 著 你 　 其 實 你 沒 有 別 離 　 在 我 心 湖 中
每 掠 過 　 也 似 風 撩 動 　 令 這 湖 上 　 無 盡 愛 浪 湧

This is what love is supposed to be. Not the perfect kinda love, but love that endures pain and sadness, and joy and hope. Love that has a beginning but with no ends. Love that requires no commitment, yet lasts forever, beyond life and death.

bike ride

You know... one unpleasant thing about riding a bike? Your butt hurts the next day.

A futile attempt to take a nap

Haven't slept well for the past couple of nights. Got back from church this morning and tried to take a nap. But my head was just full of ....., so with my eyes closed, I probably lay there in my bed for an hour.

Spring

Finally, Spring is back. But I have to work. *sigh....

Morning Duck

A female Mallard was sitting on the lawn outside of my living room window this morning. The pond is actually couple blocks away. Wonder what she was doing here. Will she come back tomorrow morning?

End of Love?

 

My neighbors' kids made this heart-shaped sign with gravel right on the sidewalk by my garage. Thought it was kinda cute. End of Love? I suppose?

Wastewater treatment in HK

Wittybb sent me this article: 黎廣德﹕淨化維港 加速發展 決心何在？

I too don't understand why Hong Kong Government is dragging its feet in wastewater treatment. Despite a large surplus in the budget, Phase 2B of the wastewater treatment plan won't be reviewed till 2010? Secondary treatment (activated sludge or other biological processes) is a must and should have been implemented along with the primary treatment (physical/chemical processes). If the government is serious about cleaning up the Victoria Harbor, it should build a treatment plant that is up to the US standards.

The Pursuit of Happyness

Never give up... no matter how difficult the situation appears to be. There is always a way out. There is always a solution. Never loose faith... never loose hope. This is the pursuit of happiness.

P.S. I think Will Smith's son deserves an Oscar for his performance.

Uh Oh

I think babies like to say "uh oh" all the time. My boss' son does that when something falls out of his hand... or whenever he feels like to. Today... a baby girl was saying "uh oh" too while I was lunching at El Burrito Loco.

A piece of advice

I asked my good friend why it is so hard to find someone whom I can share my life with?

She replied

b/c
- you're unique
- you won't treasure her as much if it's easy
- and if it's so easy she won't be special and unique?!~

Very true.

miracles

Miracles exist for those who believe in them.

Untitled

When reality hits you smack in the face,
it's got to hurt.
It is unsettling.
But truth cannot be denied.
Intuition has its place?
Or experience calling its shots?
The unknown is the biggest fear of all.
Shall we lift this fear
by revealing our true selves underneath?

Einstein and God and Science

Reading the two articles recommended by Wittybb and David... reminded me that I had actually written a couple of blog entries a while back which talked about similar issues.

An Equation...
I pondered the possibility of a single equation that would describe everything in this world and universe, including every physical thing and you and me and even our behavior. This is the deterministic view point held by Einstein. And as Christians, we believe that God has a plan for us... which in a certain sense, for He has laid out a plan, His plan is deterministic. Yet, we also speak of free will and that we are responsible for things that we do and say. It is contradictory. But I do not struggle with it. I'd like to believe that we do have free will and we should be held accountable for our actions. But who are we to say that our free will is not part of God's grand plan for us? Our free will could very well be just the random noise in the grander scale of things. Knowing this makes us humble and meek as how Jesus has taught us.

On God and Science
I struggled a great deal and I still do, to this day, on how to make compromises between faith and science. I believe science is a discovery tool... a tool that we should use to explore and understand God's creation. The more we know, we realize that there are still more things that we don't know. What remains mystery is in our faith to believe.