Finally tonight, I was able to dispute the myth or blame that my mom had been spreading since who knows when. The blame goes like this:
The reason that my mom has such a loud voice, according to her, was that she had to yell at me when I was little or she has been yelling at me since I was little... and as a result, her voice was made louder because of all the yelling and the root cause was that I was naughty and disobedient.
Hmmm... I don't know why I had been taking her blame for years without properly refuting her erroneous claim. And I don't know why it took me so long to figure out a way to refute her claim. But finally, I thought of something to say tonight at dinner when my mom made that statement again.
I said to my mom, "The reason your voice was getting louder and louder was not because of me, but because you've been losing your hearing!" Hahaha... finally.
Well... I wouldn't be able to say that years before because my mom, at that time, had not come to term with the fact that her hearing was bad and it was never going to get better. For years, she refused to go see the doctor and have her hearing checked. But a few year ago, she decided on her own to see the doc and got a hearing aid. Although the hearing aid doesn't help a whole lot. But she finally was able to accept that fact that she was probably born with weak hearing and her hearing ability got worse as she ages.
I have seen quite a few changes in Mom in recent years. She has gotten happier despite occasional emotional breakdown. But she's been trying very hard to deal with her emotion and trying very hard to accept the reality of things that sometimes she has difficulty taking in. And she is a good mom, very good mom regardless of how she would sometimes drive me nuts.
And tonight, she made this chocolate cupcake. Amazing... You know... I don't usually like chocolate cake that much. But this one... it's got melted chocolate inside with crusty top. Never had a cupcake this good. Oh... I asked how she put the melted chocolate inside... she said it just baked out like that. Unbelievable.
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8 comments:
Motherhood is a unique experience. My mom probably thinks I am rude to her ... When I improperly show my concern or caring. Where is the picture for the cupcake? -Wittybb
you know, one great thing about family is that... at the end of the day... still a family. anger won't take hold for long.
I'll take a picture on the cupcake.
Where are you going on your weekend trip?
you know ... i just made my mom very angry last night ... i wish i could do sth to make up ... and let her enjoy the stay ... "i just don't live up to someone's expectation ... and i just don't listen ... patiently"
... went to baltimore inner harbor yesterday ... and today - try to go to harpers ferry (MD).
Make sure your mother is getting the right hearing aid to match her hearing loss profile. It's like fitting eye glasses to one's vision results. A good fit hearing aid will require an audiologist. May be you should take your mom to see a local audiologist and have the specialist fit her an hearing aid that would match her hearing loss profile.
Drop me an e-mail offline if you need more information. I have been wearing hearing aids since I was 12 years old so I have had tons of experience with it. Since your mom normally lives in HK it's very important for her to be able to hear clearly while out in the street by herself.
We get into arguments with our parents for as long as we live. I am almost 42 yrs old and my parents still think I am a 7 yrs old and they always say that I am still not doing things right, blah blah blah :-)
wittybb, you'll do fine. I know how it is. just listen to her but you don't have to agree with her on everything. don't think that you can't live up to one's expectation. if you do better today than yesterday, you are a success already. hope you have fun on your trip. nice day today.
cpmf14, my mom did go to an audiologist, but her hearing loss is very serious. she basically lost all her sensitivity on high frequency sound. thank you for your tips however.
for my situation, time will tell.
for hearing aid device ... yes, i concur with cmpf14 - there's a store/office at the Star Bldg (next to Ocean Terminal) to get hearing aid
hmm.. a pretty late reply...
anyhow... mmaybe i'll just never understand until i'm a mom or sth.. it's just..
I used to think family is always the one who stay by your side at the end of the day... but lies, betrays.. just don't believe that anymore
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